Some people, myself included, like to make a list or timeline to keep themselves organized. Who doesn't make a Christmas list, or an errand chart from time to time? Creating a "grandchild timeline", however, is never appropriate.
"Oh, but ***insert SIL name here*** was supposed to have the baby first!"
I will never forget the first time I heard it. It was five minutes after my husband and I told my MIL that we were expecting a baby.
And it didn't end there.
The same phrase was repeated several times throughout my first pregnancy.
At family dinners, in front of a very uncomfortable SIL.
At doctor appointments -
Dr: "Are you excited to become a grandmother?"
MIL: "Well this wasn't part of my plan, MY daughter was supposed to have a baby first!".
At my baby shower in front of my very uncomfortable friends.
In fact, any time someone would mention the fact that I was pregnant around my MIL, you could count in her saying "Oh, but ***insert SIL name here*** was supposed to have the baby first!"
At first I made excuses for her. We had just sent out our wedding invitations. Whereas, my SIL had been married for a few years and was several years older than me. Maybe she really did just expect her daughter to have a baby before her son.
But the more times she said it, the more anger there was behind it. She wasn't happy or excited for us, she was mad. How dare I get pregnant before her daughter? Didn't I know that there was a timeline in place!?
Even after we had our beautiful daughter, she continued to say it. While it hurt me, irritated my husband, and made all our family and friends uncomfortable, the worst part is it killed my SIL. She not only had to revisit her several years of failed pregnancy attempts and miscarriages, she felt as though she was letting her mother down.
That nasty comment plagued all the people my MIL apparently "loved" so much.
Four years later, with my SIL and myself adding two lovely boys to the family, my MIL still complains about her wrecked "grandchild timeline."
Note to my future MIL self: Do not impose a procreation timeline for my children. It causes stress on all my children, their spouses, and my grandchildren. Basically, I will piss off anyone who I love.
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Submitted by GONEBATTY.
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Submitted by GONEBATTY.
