Could not have said it better myself.

Source: bit.ly via Dee on Pinterest

Mother's Day Cards

Did you previously spends hours toiling over the perfect card to send your MIL for Mother's Day? 

Fretting over the appropriate sentiment? 

Wanting to find one that aptly encapsulates your love? 

Thanks to Scary Mommy your search can officially end today. 

Absolute perfection!  

Hop over to Scary Mommy to see a few other options. And, if you are still looking for the perfect gift, might I suggest Confessions of a Scary Mommy. If you purchase the book May 7th or 8th Jill will send the recipient a hand-signed bookplate to put in the book along with special Mother’s Day wishes. As per the Scary Mommy herself: 

Just e-mail a picture of your receipt to confessionsofascarymommy@gmail.com with where to send the goodies. (Must be a US address.) And, yes, I’ll be as passive aggressive as you want me to. Try me..

Awesome!  I just love her and bet she will be a very cool MIL.

Note 5: Never express grandchild favoritism.

Everyone has favorites. A favorite book, shirt, or ice cream flavor (mine is mint chocolate chip). Some people even have favorite family members. Most, however, are savvy enough to never vocalize it for fear of hurting someone's feelings. 

My MIL, however, is curiously lacking such a sensitivity chip!

My MIL has three grandchildren: two from her son and me (a darling 3 year old princess and a 1 year old bulldozer) and one adorable 3 month old son from my sister-in-law and her husband. Instead of simply being wrapped up in the gloriousness of having such beautiful and healthy grandchildren, she blatantly picks favorites. 

To my MIL there are no greater beings on earth than my three year old and my sister-in-law's newborn. Both are showered with extravagant gifts at Christmas, Easter, and Birthdays. Sometimes they receive gifts simply because the sky is blue - truly for no reason at all.  

My sweet one year old son, however, gets next to nothing even on special days. 

For example, my daughter received gifts in excess of $200 for her birthday. We had asked them to simply donate money to charity in her name, but she was nonetheless showered with gifts. Meanwhile, my darling little boy received only a pair of stocks and a book for his first birthday! And truly, socks and a book would be just fine if it were not for the obvious extravagance bestowed upon the other grandchildren! 

When my MIL calls to "check in" she will talk to my daughter for 30-40 minutes, or ask about her ten times a conversation, but she won't even mention my son's name. When my husband or I post pictures of the kids on Facebook, she comments only on the pictures of our daughter, clicking my the pictures of our son without comment. When other family members ask my MIL about our son, she has been known to say "Oh right, I have two grandsons" even though my son is older than my nephew!

Her blatant favoritism causes a lot of pain for my husband and me, but it has recently become a problem for our daughter as well. At only three years old, even she is beginning to take note. Just yesterday she asked "Why does Grandma love me more than ***insert brother's name***?" 

Heartbreaking. 

Note to my future MIL self: Do not vocalize and blatantly show favorites when it comes to grandchildren! It will hurt you children, their spouses, and your grandchildren. Certainly there is enough love to go around!!

_________________________
Submitted by GONEBATTY.

Note 4: Do not impose a "Grandchild Timeline"

Some people, myself included, like to make a list or timeline to keep themselves organized. Who doesn't make a Christmas list, or an errand chart from time to time? Creating a "grandchild timeline", however, is never appropriate.

"Oh, but ***insert SIL name here*** was supposed to have the baby first!" 

I will never forget the first time I heard it. It was five minutes after my husband and I told my MIL that we were expecting a baby.

And it didn't end there. 

The same phrase was repeated several times throughout my first pregnancy. 

At family dinners, in front of a very uncomfortable SIL. 

At doctor appointments - 

Dr: "Are you excited to become a grandmother?"
MIL: "Well this wasn't part of my plan, MY daughter was supposed to have a baby first!". 

At my baby shower in front of my very uncomfortable friends. 

In fact, any time someone would mention the fact that I was pregnant around my MIL, you could count in her saying "Oh, but ***insert SIL name here*** was supposed to have the baby first!"

At first I made excuses for her. We had just sent out our wedding invitations. Whereas, my SIL had been married for a few years and was several years older than me. Maybe she really did just expect her daughter to have a baby before her son. 

But the more times she said it, the more anger there was behind it. She wasn't happy or excited for us, she was mad. How dare I get pregnant before her daughter? Didn't I know that there was a timeline in place!?  

Even after we had our beautiful daughter, she continued to say it. While it hurt me, irritated my husband, and made all our family and friends uncomfortable, the worst part is it killed my SIL. She not only had to revisit her several years of failed pregnancy attempts and miscarriages, she felt as though she was letting her mother down. 

That nasty comment plagued all the people my MIL apparently "loved" so much.

Four years later, with my SIL and myself adding two lovely boys to the family, my MIL still complains about her wrecked "grandchild timeline."

Note to my future MIL self: Do not impose a procreation timeline for my children. It causes stress on all my children, their spouses, and my grandchildren. Basically, I will piss off anyone who I love.

_________________________
Submitted by GONEBATTY.